What ADC Will Do Differently From APC… – 2-By Bola Bolawole
Last week, space constraints did not permit us to reveal more of what ADC will do differently from APC if the coalition of opposition politicians snatch power and run with it in 2027. Today, we start from where we stopped. Enjoy it!
“There is one person Nigerians, especially the youths, believe will make a difference if he comes to power on the platform of ADC… “
“And who is that person, if I may ask?
”Peter Obi, of course!”
“You mean ‘Yes, Daddy’?”
“Oh my God! Has that become his name?”
“Of course! Just like we have ‘Eleyi of Ogun state’ and ‘Emilokan of Nigeria’!”
“And ‘Olu’le’ of what-should-we-call-it now?“
“Forget about O-lu’le! He has finally ‘lu’le’ and the rest, as they say, is history”.
“Judging from reports, history has not smiled on him…”
“Did the man himself smile on us when he was alive – except on his Fulani tribesmen? But don’t divert our topic to past tense…”
“Sorry about that! But we cannot adequately address the present and apprehend the future if we do not have a right perspective of the past”.
“The present, properly addressed, will help us to ameliorate the disastrous impacts of the past, which is why I am deeply worried that the prognosis does not look bright at all…”
“What do you mean? Another opportunity beckons in two years’ time…”
“With ‘Yes, Daddy’?“
“Of course! Don’t you think he will act differently from the present president?“
“Sure, he will!”
“Exactly! Nigeria will be on its road to El-Dorado…”
“Eldo-what? Did you forget what he told the Bishop on the run-down to the last presidential election? That it was a religious war…“
“Who can forget that? But religious war between who and who?”
“Your guess is as good as mine!”
“That is Armageddon! When Christians and Muslims fight one another..”
“That will even be tidier than a religious war without borders and without boundaries, the war of one against all…”
“That will be akin to Thomas Hobbes’s state of nature! Why did you think such a perilous path awaits us under Yes, Daddy?”
“Consider his antecedents! When he was the governor of his home state, they said he favoured Catholics against the other Christian denominations…”
“Really? Then, he will most likely instigate Christian against Christian religious war…”
“Worse than that! Even within his Catholic denomination, he is said to belong to the Jesuits…”
“Jesuits? Who is that?“
“Google it! Jesuits, because of their politics and pursuits, are said not to be very much loved even by fellow Catholics…”
“Why?”
“I said, Google it!
” A scatter-scatter religious war will not only up-end Nigeria, it will also engulf the entire sub-region and beyond”
“And my mind went straight to the Middle East, where blood flows like a river…”
“Aa-ah! And with the short-man devil also in the same ADC boat…”
“And who can that be?“
“Excuse me for not mentioning his name! Like Wole Soyinka described another such politician in his prison notes, “The Man Died”, this pint-sized man’s name leaves a sour taste in the mouth!” “Oh my! But not many will know who you are referring to if you refuse to mention his name”.
“They will! My people have a tradition: They don’t announce the death of a man by mentioning his name; it is when they start singing his praise names that people will know who just died” .
“I see! Except that the generation of today knows nothing about praise names. They only know how to press phones…”
“Which is sad, but that is a topic for another day. When the man we are talking about here was the governor of one of the north-western states, blood flowed freely as a result of his sectarian policies and divide-and-rule politics. The minorities who did not belong to his tribal Fulani stock saw hell…”
“I now know! Peace has since returned to the state under a level-headed, responsible, and responsive governor…”
“Oh-ooh! That is the godson he reportedly helped enthrone, who is now said to have turned against him…”
“But why do godsons always turn against godfathers? Isn’t that betrayal of the highest order”?
“Generally and on the surface of it, yes; but specific cases may leave the godson with little or no choice; especially when the devil insists you dine with him with a short spoon…”
“Oh-no! That is dangerous! We are advised to dine with the devil with a long spoon”.
“Exactly! When the short-man devil insisted that his successor must use a short spoon, that one wisely voted with his feet…”
“He did well or else, he could find himself in a kiss of death or hot embrace with a bear”.
“Exactly! Imagine a combination of ‘Yes Daddy’ and short-man devil: The bloodletting of today will be a child’s play compared to what they have the capacity to unleash on the country. Can you still remember how many times Peter Obi was booted out of office when he was Anambra governor, with the courts coming to his rescue? A man who could not master a small monolithic state wants to rule a complex country like Nigeria! From where did he garner the experience and expertise? From ‘Container dey high sea’?”
“I see! They say charity begins from home and experience is the best teacher..”
“In the case of the short-man devil, do you think he can deliver his home state in the present circumstance where he does not see eye-to-eye with his state governor? ”
“I even understand that his son has refused to follow him into ADC…”
“Are you surprised? Who can know Osho’s mother more than Osho himself? I understand that the short-man devil is a serial betrayer, selfish, and self-conceited. Maybe his son does not want to be tainted. This GenZ generation, as they are called, no send person whenever they choose to call a spade, a spade” .
“Talking of betrayers, godfathers and godsons, what is your take on Rauf…?’
“You mean the former Commissioner, former governor, and former Minister that the ADC has put in charge of its engine room? Who could better fill the position than him? They are birds of a feather. Peter Obi swore he would never leave APGA; he left. A few days after Atiku’s aides vowed he would not leave PDP, the serial presidential candidate announced his exit. Former President Olusegun Obasanjo told us that the short-man devil would betray anyone. Atiku brought him into the Obasanjo administration but when both parted ways, he ditched Atiku and went along with Obasanjo. Aminu Tambuwal is another ADC top-wig: Towards the 2019 presidential election, Gov. Nyesom Wike and Gov Ayo Fayose put their necks on the chopping block for Tambuwal, governor of Sokoto, to clinch the PDP presidential ticket but Atiku outsmarted them all, snatched and ran with the ticket. Towards the 2023 presidential election when Wike was the front-runner in the quest for the PDP flag and everyone had expected Tambuwal in Wike’s corner, the same Tambuwal ditched Wike right there at the PDP Convention ground by lining his delegates behind Atiku, leaving Wike shivering in the cold…”
“Enough! It’s in their DNA!”
“So there is nothing unusual in what Rauf has done. And he could not have pitched his tents in a better environment than ADC’s.”
“As they say, birds of a feather flock together” .
“These ones are not even birds of a feather; they are fair-weather friends! Treachery brought them together; in the fullness of time the same treachery will scatter them!”
“That is weighty!”
“It is the Law of Karma! The ‘Rain Doctor, Majek Fashek, of blessed memory said no one plants cassava and reaps cocoyam… “
“You mean even a Rasta musician knows that much – people whose heads we say are not correct…”
“Whenever I reflect on the talents that get wasted as a result of bad behaviour – all the great talents whose lives were cut short by drug abuse and crime – I feel extremely sad”.
“Not only you! Talents like…”
“Let that be a topic for another day! Rotimi Amaechi ran round a football field and was sweating like a he-goat. He must have thought the Presidency was lined up for men like Mighty Igor, Mascara, and Mike Tyson!
“He wanted to demonstrate that he was healthy, physically fit and able…”
“He missed the point! If that was what Nigerians wanted, they knew where to go in search of the likes of Power Mike! Oyingbo and Mile 12 markets are there! A common bridge between him and his successor he could not build. How, then, can he build bridges all over the country? Do you know what he will build if his party, ADC, wins in 2027?”
“Bridges, of course!”
“No! He will ensure he diverts all development projects to the President’s home state, like he did for Buhari!”
“Only to be rebuffed by the same Buhari!”
“Exactly! Blinded by morbid ambition, they never learn! But the greatest disaster that will befall this country if ADC wins is the return to power of the Buhari cabals. Malami, ‘Grass-cutter’ Babachir Lawal…
“They must have learnt their lessons by now…”
“For where! Half-killed poisonous snakes! They will release Emefiele from detention, reinstate him as CBN governor, return his seized assets, including the 753 Abuja duplexes seized by the EFCC, offer him public apology and dash him a national award to boot…!”
“Armageddon!”
NOW CONCLUDED!
Former editor of PUNCH newspapers, Chairman of its Editorial Board and Deputy Editor-in-chief, BOLAWOLE was also the Managing Director/Editor-in-chief of The Westerner news magazine. He writes the ON THE LORD’S DAY column in the Sunday Tribune and TREASURES column in New Telegraph newspaper on Wednesdays. He is also a public affairs analyst on radio and television.
