In Nigeria, Elections Defy Logic,By Bola BOLAWOLE
turnpot@gmail.com 0807 552 5533
“Morning, they say, shows the day! For your information, two other buy-and-sell elections are coming up very soon, one in Ekiti and the other in Osun. That’s where the vultures are heading right now!”
“Do you still remember Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida?”
“Which one?”
“How dare you! Do we have two Babangidas in Nigeria?“
“It is the way you pronounced the name as if it is Yoruba name!”
“And is it not Yoruba or, better still, was it not Yoruba before it was deliberately corrupted to hide its true origin?”
“How dare you! Call the name as the owner calls it…”
“They say the name originally was Gbadamosi and that the man originated from Ogbomoso in present-day Oyo State before he landed in Hausa or Fulani land…”
“Rumours!”
“Exactly! Rumours are potent sources of evidence! Have you forgotten that we journalists act on the basis that there is no smoke without a fire?”
“Rumours must be treated simply as such and not as facts cast in iron…”
“I agree but from experience, rumours are veritable sources of information. Anyway, do you still remember Babangida… “
“I will still ask you, which one? The one who…”
“Our people say two different birds do not answer the name ‘hawk’ in the forest”
“I see, but you know that in the Social Sciences, we always define our terms to avoid ambiguity. If we are talking of Babangida who recently celebrated his eighty-something birthday…”
“Forget about birthdays! I am bothered here about something more serious than birthdays…”
“But birthdays are also something very important, especially for someone whose health…”
“I say forget about birthdays, good health or whatever! By the way, did you see how our leaders were falling over one another to pour encomiums on the man? IBB of all persons!”
“You are just beginning to see my point! The birthdays of VIPs are celebrated with pomp and colour”.
”Most unfortunate! Do you want to tell me that those people believed all the good things they said about the man”?
“Of course, not!”
“Why, then? Why not say the truth and let the devil be ashamed? After all, the man called himself the ‘evil genius’…”
“He did not! Some mischievous elements jumped into his throat and twisted his words…”
“I see! But his works speak for him all the same, don’t they! Who also jumped into his head to twist those ones? That is not even what I am driving at here today. Do you remember what IBB said about our economy?“
“Yes, yes, yes! That was when every attempt to kill the economy failed! Unmitigated corruption, settlement syndrome, Gulf War oil windfall that vanished into thin air, IMF and World Bank crippling conditionalities, Structural Adjustment Programme (SAP) without human face, to quote former military dictator Olusegun Obasanjo…”
“Nigeria’s economy is rugged! There is no killing the Beatle…”
“Is it the Beatles or beetles?“
“Whichever! We used to hunt and eat beetles those days when I was growing up. But I have not come across any in decades. Are you sure they have not all gone into extinction”?
“Ask the village people! Industrialization, which has fuelled rural-urban migration, is a two-edged sword…”
“Exactly! But JAPA will be worse. By the time we realize what hit us, it would be too late for many families to reverse the ugly trend…”
“You dare not warn them now, else they could think you are the enemy of their manifest destiny…”
“After all said and done and the Nigerian economy still failed to die, IBB marvelled. Do you remember what he said – that our economy defies logic?”
“Yes, oh yes! David Cameron, a one-time British Prime Minister, said if a percentage of the money stolen and taken out of the Nigerian economy happens in Britain, that country will collapse sharp-sharp!”
“Yes! He even described Nigeria as a fantastically corrupt country to Buhari’s consternation…”
“Oh! Blessed old Buha…”
“Stop! Are you also one of them?”
“I must warn you! Say no evil of… “
“Yes! Say no evil of the dead, but what of the living? The man IBB is alive, hale and hearty, but witness all the encomiums poured on him! If we are not allowed to say evil of the dead and we cannot also say evil of the living, when will anyone get his due recompense? “
“That is the country in which we find ourselves…”
“Then we must change it! Karl Marx said philosophers have interpreted the world. Our duty now is to change it or else…”
“You are always issuing threats!”
“Pardon me! We must ponder about alternatives! Nothing makes that more imperative than the last off-cycle elections in some parts of the country…”
“Yes, the bye-elections went peacefully all over the country. NNDP, APGA and PDP won in some states but the ruling APC won in most. ..”
“You called that bye-elections? They were buy-elections! The elections were sold and bought…
“I agree, but all the political parties won where they were strong. If you talk of rigging, there is hardly any party here that does not rig or attempt to rig elections, especially in their strongholds…”
“That is the point! I say, that is the point! It is not our economy alone that defies logic, our elections also defy logic. Elections are not won here on merit. Performance counts for nothing. You can perform and lose elections. You can do nothing and still coast home to victory. That has been our sordid experience in this country”.
“What, then, is the purpose of elections…”
“Here, it is to give a semblance of democratic governance; a smokescreen and subterfuge that the people themselves choose their leaders when, in actual sense, that is far from being the truth…”
“Uumh! Elections also provide avenues for humongous corruption. Billions of Naira go into the election process at federal and state levels…”
“It is a huge racket – before, during and after elections. Even if you do not want to get involved, you are inexorably sucked into the vortex”.
“I have learnt not to get involved. I always stayed glued to my television set on election days…”
”That is, if you have electricity! Or you have the money to buy fuel at N1000 or more per litre! Even at that, your apathy serves the purpose of those who do not want enlightened elements like you to participate in the first place; so they can better manipulate the gullible. So, head or tail, you lose.”
“Talking about electricity, did you watch the video making the rounds of the man saddled with the responsibility of giving us power? He appeared to be inspecting his sparkling new edifice that will put Buckingham palace to shame…”
“Yes, I watched it! The most unfortunate thing is that the same people he is marginalizing were the ones saluting him and urging him on!”
“I heard them call him ‘in-coming’; saluting his late father, a First Republic controversial politician; in-coming what?”
“In-coming governor! The next governor of his state! Are you JJC?
“I see! But what time, then, does he have for his oresent job when he is already busy gunning for the post of governor?”
“Is that the only puzzle? You should also ask where the money for his electioneering campaign will come from…”
“No! I usually don’t bother myself about that. Our people have a saying that it is public money that you expend to run for public office!”
“Can you see that our problem has deep roots? Even in our saying, we seem to legitimise the cankerworms of corruption!”
“Back to IBB, then! Not only our economy and not only our politics defy logic. Our people themselves defy logic!”
“And, as it is said, a people deserve the kind of leaders they get. In 2010, Professor Wole Soyinka established the Democratic Front for a People’s Federation, which aimed to address issues like corruption and improve education and healthcare in Nigeria but Nigerians snubbed him and his ‘ethical revolution’. Fela set up Movement of the People (MOP), but the people treated him and his MOP like ’were, asinwin’. What of Tunji Braithwaithe and his Nigeria Advance Party? He was mocked by our people for saying he would rid the country of cockroaches, rats and rodents (a euphemism for the malfeasance in the polity)! Gani Fawehinmi contested election but lost woefully. “Lover Boy” crooner-turned-pastor, Chris Okotie, and his FRESH party were told to go and sell fresh tomatoes, ‘atarodo’ and ‘tatase’ at Mile 12 market!”
“I think illiteracy is responsible…”
”Yes, but partially. Even among those who can read and write, there are also political illiterates. You will be surprised how supposedly literate people, even those with strings of degrees, think and argue sometimes”.
“Poverty has been weaponized against the majority of our people…
“Ever before poverty became this accentuated, did the people behave better? Were our elections more credible?”
“There were the other demons of ethnicity and religion that truncated credible elections right from Day One”
“And those ones are still with us…
“What, then, is the prognosis for 2027?”
“Morning, they say, shows the day! For your information, two other buy-and-sell elections are coming up very soon, one in Ekiti and the other in Osun. That’s where the vultures are heading right now!”
“And shouldn’t we discuss that right away?”
No! Let it be a topic for another day’!
Former editor of PUNCH newspapers, Chairman of its Editorial Board and Deputy Editor-in-chief, BOLAWOLE was also the Managing Director/Editor-in-chief of The Westerner news magazine. He writes the ON THE LORD’S DAY column in the Sunday Tribune and TREASURES column in New Telegraph newspaper on Wednesdays. He is also a public affairs analyst on radio and television.
