Polygamy In God’s Scheme Of Marriage

By Esther Ogundipe

There has been an upsurge in discussion in recent times – especially among some who identify with the Christian faith – about polygamous marriages and scriptural approval of polygamy.

Two notable personalities in particular, held in high esteem among the social media audience and a section of the Christian community, have argued in favour of polygamy and tried to use the scriptures to support their argument.

They referenced the wide practice of polygamy as recorded in the Old Testament but only inferred its acceptability from a single verse of the New Testament. We should understand that the records of certain practices in the Old Testament are descriptive and not prescriptive.

According to them, the prescription of one husband, one wife, for would-be leaders in the church in 1 Timothy 2: 3, does not apply to non-leaders. By implication, ‘laymen’ i.e., non-leadership members in the church, are permitted to have multiple wives. What a great error!

Unfortunately, this faulty supposition by men supposedly grounded in the truth has emboldened, encouraged, and reassured many that polygamy enjoys God’s approval. Consequently, it frees men from the fear of transgressing God’s command as recorded in the scriptures or incurring societal disapproval.

Many who were hitherto averse to polygamy or have embraced monogamy as the ideal are now openly endorsing, canvassing or embracing polygamy. A side chick of a legally married man recently challenged the wife to ready herself for other entrant(s) or quit the marriage. What a shame!

This unhealthy campaign has huge implications and impacts on unenlightened or infantile Christians, and others who have come to appreciate the immense benefit of monogamy as instituted by God.

More so, for a society that is already reeling under the weight of socio-economic and marital-related social complications, promoting polygamy amounts to kicking a dying baby.

The multi-dimensional effect of this social phenomenon, therefore, demands that the subject be closely examined in the light of God’s own prescription on marriage as recorded in the scriptures. In this light, we shall first examine what marriage is, as instituted by the maker.

Definition of marriage

According to Oxford Language Dictionary, marriage is the legally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship. The scriptures describe it as a conjugal union between a man and a woman. And what is the composition and purpose of marriage as pronounced by God, the originator?

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18; Mark 10:6-9 ESV). Note that God did not say that he would make him helpers fit for him.

Jesus re-emphasized the singularity of partnership in marriage in the book of Matthew 19: 4-6, and other scriptures re-echoed the same thing.

How then did polygamy (multi-wife marital relationship) come into the picture? It should be stated explicitly that polygamy is one of the destructive fallouts of the fall of man in the Garden of Eden. After this horrific incident, we saw the gradual descent of man from his highly prestigious position to that of a beast.

This was exemplified by Cain’s callous murder of his brother and his descendant, Lamech’s atrocities. Lamech, the first polygamist ever recorded in the bible, was a social misfit and a murderer.

Unfortunately, this ungodly practice (polygamous marriage) was entrenched over time and became normalized.

That was why some of the early men of God – including Abraham, Jacob, David, and others – who had yet to be fully instructed in the ways of God, ignorantly engaged in this unwholesome practice.

Jacob had four wives, David had eight recorded wives and concubines; Gideon also had many wives and concubines. Even Abraham (after Sarah’s death), like many others, acquired concubines. Does God then approve of concubines?

Inasmuch as God did not approve of their action, he, nonetheless, endured this misnomer, while waiting for his own appointed time to reveal his perfect will to man through Jesus Christ, and return marriage to his original design.

In this wise, it is important to emphasize that Deuteronomy 21:15, which some may cite to support their argument for polygamy, does not necessarily translate to the fact that God approves of the practice.

Rather, God simply acknowledged the reality of what men have erroneously plunged themselves into and strived to establish justice within that imperfect system.

Unfortunately, some men hide behind the guise of wrongly interpreted scriptures or present various excuses to justify their promiscuity or indulgence in polygamy.

Let’s compare polygamy to slave trade/ownership, which was not God’s original design or pleasure, but God allowed it all the same for a time by his permissive will.

The same goes for divorce, which Christ told us that God permitted (at the time) due to the stubbornness of the Israelites against his perfect will.

Matthew 19:8 and Galatians 3: 23-25; 4: 1-5 clearly enunciated the reason for God’s permission of some of these unwholesome practices in the old order.

This brings us to the question: Does God, anywhere in the Scriptures, openly or tacitly approve of polygamy? Evidently, there is no indication of such in the New Covenant – sealed by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ – which is God’s revealed perfect will for man.

The only conjectured or inferential allusion to polygamy is 1 Timothy 3: 2-9, where leadership candidates or aspirants in the church were to fulfil certain criteria.

These include having a godly reputation, a life of purity, and being the husband of one wife. The reason for this is to set godly examples for others to follow and that the gospel would not be brought into reproach.

Some have interpreted this requirement for the elders to mean that ‘laymen’ in the church are free to practice polygamy. Should we then conclude that having a godly reputation and a life of purity is only required of the leadership aspirants and not of every believer? This is another negative effect of the dichotomy brought into the church – the Clergy/Laity syndrome.

While the clear enunciation of the one man–one wife status of male leaders could suggest that only such are restricted to monogamy, there is no evidence in the scriptures, especially the New Testament, to back up such a claim.

Rather, the most plausible explanation is that some believers in the church had probably acquired two or more wives before they believed. Such are not compelled to divorce their wives to be qualified for acceptance by God or play non-leadership roles in the church.

Again, in a related instance, can we assuredly affirm that God approves of slavery generally or the continued patronage of slavery by believers, because of the admonition to slaves and masters in Ephesians 6: 6-9; 1 Corinthians 7: 21; Colossians 3: 22-25; 4: 1; and I Timothy 6:1-2? Evidently not! Slavery is one of the unsalutary consequences of the degeneration of man into sin.

Consequently, what could be deduced from this admonition is that God, instead of directly pronouncing the abolition of slavery, through the church, instructed believers on how to relate with their slaves with love and compassion.

We know from history that some godly men later successfully campaigned and achieved the abolition of slavery a few centuries ago. Hence, 1 Timothy 3: 2-9 does not translate to the endorsement of polygamy among believers.

Rather, Jesus’ emphasis in Matthew 19, on the one-flesh union of one man and one woman, is to be seen as God’s design for marriage and a rejection of polygamy. Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7, also seems to reinforce the concept of monogamy as God’s ideal for marriage, with his pronouncement of one man, one woman, and faithfulness within the marital union. (To be continued)

Esther Olaitan Ogundipe is an itinerant Bible Teacher, writes from Abuja