Rumours,More Rumours,And Still More Rumours…By Bola BOLAWOLE

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“Nigeria is the rumour-mongering capital of the world!”

“Is she no longer the poverty capital of the world?”

“It still is! That is double honours”

“That is too much baggage. The Tinubu administration is addressing the monster of poverty headlong. Soon, we shall be out of the woods…”

“So they keep telling us, but where is the evidence?”

“What the Federation Account gives to the other two tiers of government each month keeps balooning…”

“In the same way the misery of the poor keeps deepening! Where is the money going?“

“That is the question I expect Sowore to help us ask them! Imagine if all the hullabaloo over Nnamdi Kanu is directed at tracking the resources of the two other tiers of government!“

“You are expecting a miracle! No one digs a pit for himself…”

”What do you mean?”

“Have you not heard them say those digging a pit for others must endeavour to keep it shallow – in case they are the ones that end up in it?“

“Proverbs-man has come again!”

“Don’t you understand that many of those fighting this government may only be interested in stepping into their shoes?“

“I don’t think so! Have you not listened to their fiery speeches and patriotic zeal?”

“Who made a more fiery speech than Zik of Africa during the anti-colonial struggle? Once in power, did he walk the talk?”

“I see! The same with the series of military rulers that took office one after the other. Flowery speeches! Fiery condemnation of previous administrations! Promises and pledges of paradise on earth…”

“Oh-ooo! All turned out to be sounds and fury, signifying nothing, according to William Shakespeare”.

“So the so-called civil rights activists are just deceiving us?“

“They delude themselves! Their antecedents reveal their true personality and real intentions. Once in power, they reveal their true colour”.

“True, then, is the saying that you don’t get to really know a person until you have tried him with money, power, and women…”

“We should be asking where the humongous amount the states and local governments are collecting is going. Those two tiers of government bear more relevance to the vast majority of our people than any protests about Kanu…”

“But that also is very important…”

“Because it puts food on your table? It …”

“That’s enough! It’s a misplaced priority quite alright, but I still insist that protests are legitimate and fundamental human rights…”

“Let them be properly directed! Shift the focus to where the shoe pinches – and this is the state and local government levels”.

“You must be right! The speaker of a state House of Assembly, the one who was removed and then was restored, recently accused the local governments in his state of siphoning government funds…”

“Oh-ooo! And he should know! He is in the system. But don’t ask if he, too, was not accused by his colleagues of siphoning government funds!”

“So, this is a case of the pot calling the kettle black – or is it the other way round?“

“Whichever! What it boils down to is that the state and local governments ought to attract our attention, as much as the Federal Government, instead of the pursuit of a political agenda against political opponents.”

“Talking about the Federal Government, the worsening insecurity in the country is worrisome…”

“You see what I mean! Worsening insecurity was not even the focus of the protests! An alleged murderer is who they are trying to smuggle away from justice! What space do they have in their heart for the victims of Kanu’s atrocities?”

“Your point is well made. I read somewhere that the prosecution has already marshaled its case against Kanu; it now remains for the man to start his own defence…”

“If he likes, let him not…!”

“Don’t forget the matter is still before the court; so it is sub-judice…”

“Thanks, but the rumour mill does not respect sub-judice or whatever! The coup rumours are still trending, despite official denial…”

”And do you believe the official denial?“

“Of course, not! Don’t forget that one of our maxims is that there is no smoke without a fire; but what I do not agree with is the classification of the so-called coup”.

“Classification or no classification; coup is a coup…”

“That is not absolutely correct! When a push by military officers to seize power by force succeeds, it is called a (successful) coup; after which they proceed to form the government, having supplanted the previous government. It is the fact of their success that makes their coup legitimate; otherwise, the very act of coup-making is illegal and a very serious offence…”

“I see! But what happens when a coup fails? “

“It is called a failed or attempted coup. Some coups progress from the conceptualization and planning state to the execution stage, but for one reason or the other, the coupists may fail in their bid to unseat the sitting government…”

“You are getting too technical…”

“What is technical in that? The first coup in the country killed the politicians in power but failed to form the government. A senior military officer who was not one of the coup planners took over power. But the counter-coup that followed six months after was fully successful in that they removed the government in power and supplanted it…”

“I see! If you kill but are unable to take over power, your coup is deemed not to have fully succeeded?”

“Exactly! The coup that followed some nine years after, which removed Yakubu Gowon from office, succeeded fully because they were able to put their own man, Murtala Muhammed, in office but the coup that killed Muhammed six-and-half months after (the Dimka/Bisalla coup) partially succeeded because, although they killed Muhammed, they did not succeed in seizing power.”

“I am enjoying the narrative! These days, History is no longer taught in schools…”

“The military truncated the Second Republic (1979 – 1983) when they took power from Shehu Shagari and installed their own man, Muhammadu Buhari. Therefore, it was a successful coup. Buhari himself was toppled on August 27, 1985 and Ibrahim Babangida took office. It was also a successful coup.”

“You mean that this country has passed through these kinds of musical chairs in the hands of the military?”

“The rains started beating us a long time ago! There is no kind of sordid experiment that the military did not subject this country to…”

“Is that what some people are still clamouring for?“

“Selfish interests blindfold many! Some won’t even mind cutting their nose to spite their face! An attempt was made to topple Babangida on April 22, 1990, led by Gideon Orkar. Although the coupists mobilised and moved troops and shed some blood, they failed to hit their target. Their coup failed, they were rounded up, tried, and executed.”

“That must have been the last coup the country experienced before the return to civilian rule in 1999…”

“Not really! There was the coup in which Gen. Sani Abacha and his boys toppled the contraption called the ING (Interim National Government) headed by Chief Ernest Shonekan on November 17, 1993…”

“Beng a civilian, Shonekan must have been a lame duck…”

“Exactly! Abacha announced that there was an attempt to overthrow his own government in 1995 but many took his story with a pinch of salt”

“Why?”

“Because many believed it was just a ploy to get rid of perceived opponents; hence, the coup allegation was widely referred to as ‘phantom coup’”

“But was it really phantom?”

“It was as phantom as it was bizarre! As later information would reveal, the officer who suggested the idea of a coup to his colleagues was the same who went behind to squeal on them!”

“You don’t mean it! So, it was a set-up!”

“Exactly! But his colleagues fell for it! They were rounded up, tried and sentenced”

“I see! Now, to which of these categories do you think the recently-rumoured coup belong?”

“I think they were still at the conceptualization and planning stage…”

“Can that be the reason why the government is tardy or reluctant to admit there was a coup?”

“Partly! Judging from the experience of the public reaction to the phantom coup against Abacha, you must gather and present incontrovertible evidence for people to believe your narrative.”

“Especially for a government that is still struggling to fully win the confidence of sections of the people…

“You get the point! This government has implemented necessary but hurtful policies. Many only feel the hurt, but care less about the necessity…”

“I don’t envy the government! So it is better to stomach it like the masquerader who farts inside his costume!”

“Besides, don’t forget that this is a country of sacred cows. If some of the alleged plotters belong to untouchable families or constituencies…”

“Not to talk of religious and ethnic origins…”

“Exactly! And don’t forget that there is hardly any coup without the imprimatur of civilian big-wigs!”

“Shouldn’t the government, then, just damn the consequences and go the whole hog?”

“You forgot where we started from! Those who live in a glass house do not throw stones! And if you throw stones into the marketplace, you never can tell who gets hit”

“Complicated!”

“And also very deep!”

Former editor of PUNCH newspapers, Chairman of its Editorial Board and Deputy Editor-in-chief, BOLAWOLE was also the Managing Director/Editor-in-chief of The Westerner news magazine. He writes the ON THE LORD’S DAY column in the Sunday Tribune and TREASURES column in New Telegraph newspaper on Wednesdays. He is also a public affairs analyst on radio and television.